There is a huge misconception out there about forgiveness. I feel many people believe that forgiveness means you turn the other cheek, be patient, reserve judgement and let that other person be themselves.
This is not truth.
Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to continue to treat you badly.
Forgiveness does not mean you make up for the other persons lack.
Forgiveness is seeing thorough the eyes of love. Forgiveness is seeing the other person as showing you something or bringing you an experience that you need in order to grow. It means seeing that the other person is also on their journey and you have come together in this particular circumstance in order to serve one another on a higher level. It means loving that person and loving yourself.
Loving yourself means putting yourself first. I know, I know – that sounds like selfishness, ego and lacking compassion. NOT TRUE.
When you treat yourself in the highest most loving way, you treat the other person in the highest most loving way. The highest good for you is the highest good for them.
If you don't take up your responsibility of standing your ground and being in your truth, than the other person doesn't have the opportunity to learn their lesson. Is it really in the highest good to allow that other person to continue their offensive behavior? Is it more loving to them to help them see how they have affected you and give them an opportunity to see themselves differently? How will they know or see this unless you are truthful with them?
How do you forgive someone and not let the relationship continue in a negative pattern?
The only way it works is if you stand in your own truth. You have to be able to own your own ground and stay in your power. It means calling it out when the objectionable behavior reasserts itself. This can be difficult because it's hard to say the truth when you know the other person won't like what you have to say-where you know they'll probably misinterpret it, where they may lash back at you. The fear of speaking up for yourself and your own truth can be so paralyzing, that people stay in negative relationships their entire lives rather than confront and change it
This is something that often comes up in readings. People seek to connect with their deceased Loved Ones out of love and also out of pain and seeking healing, closure, peace and forgiveness.
The people seeking forgiveness in a mediumship reading are not usually the clients – they are the Spirits.
Now that they are on the Other Side, people who are crossed over can see the affects their actions had on the ones they love and believe me, I have heard many, many apologies. What's most amazing is when the client is able to release their pain and forgive their Loved One. This forgiveness is an amazing force that has the power to transform people instantly. Such is the power of love.