What to do when your ego takes over


You’ve probably heard the saying “your ego is not your amigo.” Well, it’s true.

The ego is the most obstinate and persistent obstacle when it comes to connecting to our Higher Selves and to Spirit. It is the voice of doubt, casting a shadow over your burgeoning experiences opening to Spirit. The ego is he naysayer, the denier, the doubter, the blamer and the block to your own Spirit as well as your Guides, Angels and Loved Ones. Its voice leaves you feeling doubtful, afraid, insecure, judgmental, anxious and/or resentful. Hmmm – sounds like fun, right? Hardly. The ego is really not who you want to be spending time with, much less giving the run of your house, right? But the ego looms large in our world, both internally and externally. As a medium, nothing filters messages or shuts Spirit out faster than the ego, so I have developed some tools that I use to keep it in check. I hope they help you on your spiritual journey as well:

1. Detach from it.

Listen to that doubting voice as you would to someone else speaking to you. The ego is actually NOT really you -it is the voice of fear speaking. So, if you can step outside of it for a moment and try to hear it as an outside voice, like it's someone else talking to you, you will begin to hear how damaging it really is. In fact, I bet you would not allow someone else to speak to you the way your own ego does! I know I wouldn't. My ego constantly tells me how I am not measuring up, how I should be different or better, and tries to blame other people for the things happening in my life. Every time I separate from that voice, even just a little bit, it gets easier to identify when it creeps in to my mind. The ego loves to make everything and everyone into a problem, so you know if you are jumping from one “problem” to another, it’s your ego running wild. Your true self-your Spirit- would never talk to you like that. It speaks softly, gently and with love and encouragement.

2. Make it a person

Give your doubting voice a persona: an age, a face, and a gender, even an outfit! I imagine mine as a small child, so when I hear that voice of fear, I can comfort it and say doesn't have any reason to be afraid. By imagining my ego as a child, it helps remind me that it is only the voice of fear and that helps me stay in my Higher Self. Actually, the pretty much has the maturity level of a small child anyway! Maybe yours looks like your mother in law- here's your opportunity to send her packing! Just kidding. Anything you can do to separate that voice from feeling like its your own helps to tone down the damaging and demoralizing effects the ego can have on us.

3. Turn it down

When I start to notice the ego voice in my mind, I actually imagine a dial and I look to see what number it's on-sometimes it's high, like around 8, or maybe it's more of a five or 6. I imagine physically turning it down, like I would a radio dial, so it's at about a 2 or 3. This way I can still use my logical mind, but the ego is not yelling at me at every turn, which is it can feel like sometimes!

4. Give it a job

You can re-direct the ego by giving it tasks to perform for you. By doing this, you can actually have it serve you as opposed to interfering with you and bringing you down.  Ask that doubting voice to assist you in organizing your time so you have time to focus on your spiritual growth.

Ask it to help you find resources like the best bookstores, food stores, spiritual centers, Meet up groups, or the next workshop or class.

Really, the most important thing about dealing with the ego is recognizing that it is not really your true self talking to you, and you don’t have to listen to it. The more you can separate from it and stop identifying with it, the clearer, more positive and more pleasant your life will be. The best book that I have read about the ego is "The Power of Now" by Eckardt Tolle. Tolle expertly explains and discerns between the voices of our Spirit versus that of the ego. I believe it's required reading for anyone on a Spiritual path. You can find it here.

When you start feeling doubtful or like you aren't good enough, check your ego. There is no need to feel badly about yourself, no matter how much change you would like to see in yourself. We all have ways in which we can grow and change for the better. That's why we're here in the first place! Plants grow better with love and so do we. Tell that ego to take a hike!


With love,